I got tired of trying to contact pissed-off webmasters who believe I did them wrong so I created this page in case you've come to my site looking for revenge. Hopefully, this will clear things up for you.

 For the past two weeks or so I have been plagued by a:

Name: VenusEnvy
Website: VenusEnvy's Temple
Referred by: Your FAT ASS
From: My own personal hell
Time: 2000-01-024 19:24:42
Comments: Do you honestly think that your site is even REMOTELY interesting to look at? Your graphics are annoying, the background gave me nightmares and your content...heh, WHAT content? You are nothing but a chimp behind a keyboard. I've only got one question regarding this eyesore...WHY???  tofu on ice

I mailed him again and did my best to assure him that it was not me who signed it. As you can imagine, I had a hell of a time convincing him (would YOU know what to say?) and I still don't know if he's accepted my sincere apologies because he hasn't replied yet. Couple days later, I received another e-mail quite similar to that first one saying almost the same thing. Then I received another. And another. There was even one from a friend of mine who's guestbook I supposedly slandered. Thank God she understood and didn't believe I wrote that bullshit. It seems I've got a poser who is clicking on sites in my links pages and guestbook to access homepages of my friends and acquaintances to wreak havoc.

Now, I'm beginning to realize that I have a problem on my hands. It was hard enough to explain this gross misunderstanding the first time but having to explain it over and over and over?

Then something new (and a first for me) developed. There is a popular site, which I am linked to, that has a "guest writing" section where it invites the visitors to submit rants and such to be posted up. Can you guess what happened? No? Well, this fucked-up "MINI ME" decides to submit an article using MY name yet again and included the link to my site.  Remember, this is all going on with me oblivious to it. Oh but it doesn't end there. It seems this article was stolen from another site and now I'm accused of plaguerism. I get THIS in my mailbox:
*note: I've omitted the URLS and email addies because I wouldn't want some of my overzealous worshippers to send hate-mail to these guys. They are not at fault and indeed felt justified in sending this.* 

From: "Mark Mahoney" 
Subject: You fuckers had better have a really good excuse...
Date: Wed, 9 Feb 2000 20:00:39 -0800

To the editors at "xxx" and VenusCopy: Straight from the guide to submissions on "xxx": "1. You must be the original author. No submitting other people's stuff." Jesus fucking Christ. I never thought I'd see the day I'd be plagerized, but here it is. Word for fucking word. In case you don't know what I'm talking about, and I hope that you don't, do me a favor and read the article "It Came From Outerspace" (insert URL here) on the front page of your site. Read it carefully. Read it well. Read it again. Now do me a favor and shoot on over to (insert other URL here) and click on "FSPS" in the menu on the left. Other than the FIRST SENTENCE and the fact that VenusEnvy changed Ben's name to FREDDY, it all looks pretty goddamn familiar, don't it? WELL, DON'T IT?!? Look, I realize that you guys at (xxxxx) probably had no idea that this was stolen, so I apologize for my abrasive language. Just take down the story right now, email me to let me know you took it off, and we're cool. As for VenusEnvy, you, my dear, are fucked. There is no way you can talk your way out of this one, you worm, you unimaginative, filthy plagerist. You are both pathetic and crass, and I shall do my best to point this out to every single visitor that comes to my site. And I'll be sure to post your email address there so that everyone else can share their thoughts on the matter with you. By the way, do the world a favor and knock it off with the "tough dominatrix grrl/bitch" attitude you promote on your web site; you sound like a cross between a stuck pig and retard.

Love and Respect,
Mark "Bad Candy" Mahoney

Lovely, isn't it? I was floored. If I didn't know what to say before, I REALLY don't know what to say now. So, of course I visited both sites, saw for myself what the latest was and fired off yet another round of emails doing my best to sort this all out. I haven't heard from either webmasters yet. One of the webmasters (Mr. Joshua) is one of the people I'm linked to so I'm sure I'll hear from him soon. Mr. Bad Candy I know not at all so who knows if I'll talk to him soon or not. I hope so.

And now, for the kicker. About 4-5 days ago, I couldn't sign on. It kept saying, "screen name is in use". I kept trying. Same thing, "screen name is in use". What the fuck? I ended up having to call up the system admins at AOL (another reason this service blows) and had to get a new password just to sign on. This takes TWO HOURS. After managing to sign on, I had to change my password yet again. I check my mailbox. There are two warnings from system admins citing me for "spamming" and should this happen again, my account will be terminated. I scan through mails that have been sent, but of course I find nothing. At least this dumb fuck was smart enough to delete the evidence. Nothing in my personal filing cabinet, either. I also do a "virus scan" to see if any buggies have been sent under my name (which this program WILL find, deleted or not) but it was clean, thank fucking God.  I get on the phone ONCE MORE with the friendly staff at AOL and there goes another 40 minutes of untangling this mess. They erased the warnings from my account, needless to say. Oh the fun just never stops. Now, I'm wondering what new surprises are awaiting me. 

So who is this person? I have my suspicions but can't point any fingers as of yet. There are two people that I know of who fit the "M.O." (and who I have a history with) but I need to be sure which one it is, if it's not someone else, before I take some kind of action. Why would they do something like this? Who the fuck knows and who the fuck cares. They did it and I...AM...NOT...HAPPY. When I track this MISERABLE, WEASLY LITTLE FUCK down, I will let you all know. Trust me.

In the meantime, some helpful tips:

1.) I DO NOT slander guestbooks or message boards. If I have an honest to God beef with you, I will air out my grievances here and here only. I just don't believe in that shit. I don't like it when people do it to me so I won't do it to you.

2.) If you receive mail other than "venus@envyme.com", it is not me. I do not have hotmail, yahoo, or any other mail address. This is the only mail addy I use. I don't care if it says venusenvy@envyme.com, or goddess@envyme.com or whatever. I do have a free @envyme.com service here so anyone and their mother can sign up with those names. I repeat again, if it isn't VENUS@ENVYME.COM, it ain't the real deal, honey. If you, by chance, DO receive something suspicious under this name, please forward it back to me. This email service, or any other, is hardly invulnerable to jack-off hackers (as opposed to true hackers) who think it's the height of entertainment to fuck with your online life...but they can be caught.

3.) If you get an ICQ from someone claiming to be me (and you don't already have my ICQ #) it is not me. I don't advertise my ICQ # and only my friends have it. You can do the search thing all you want to find my #, but you will have a hell of a time getting authorized if I don't know you. If I contact anyone, they will already have expected me to.

So, I hope you have a clearer idea of what's been happening. If you're still confused by all this, you're on your own because I'm still pretty confused myself. Goddamn, I feel like I'm in that movie "Mimic".