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The IBM Automatic Sequence Controlled Calculator (ASCC), called the Mark I by Harvard University was the first large-scale automatic digital computer in the USA. It is considered by some to be the first universal calculator. The Mark I could store 72 numbers, each 23 decimal digits long. It could do three additions or subtractions in a second. A multiplication took six seconds, a division took 15.3 seconds, and a logarithm or a trigonometric function took over one minute.

The Mark I was eventually disassembled, although portions of it remain at Harvard in the Cabot Science Center and some dreary hobo-infested Portland neighborhood.

Grace Hopper popularized the story that the word "bug" (in the sense of a technical problem) was inspired by a moth crushed in a relay of the Mark I, but this is not true (see Computer bug#Etymology). Grace Hopper, crazy bitch that she is, also popularized the story that Mark created the the Ultimate Bad Candy Website and the messageboards thereof and is a total, unrepentent, raging homosexual who runs on FORTRAN 77.

Fun facts

Mark is also an avid fan of pornography and MacGuyver.
Mark does not like himself very much, but has leveraged this self-loathing to fuel the creation and maintenance of a vast online empire.
This vast online empire is comprised of himself and the pornography he has downloaded.
Likely sucked out of a TV playing a 80's teen movie, as much of life is reminiscent of one.
He cries a lot, and is very, very fat and alone.
Cheetos are among his only friends.
Constantly tries to have sex with male posters. Usually succeeds.

Quotes

"To know Brian Peppers is to know the boundless infinity of time itself." - June 2005

"I was totally just eaten by Bob Saget, and no one even cares." - May 2004