Will the constant flood of non-updating ever abate? Sources close to the site say ‘maybe’

I recently found myself, for reasons I won’t delve in to here, quasi-homeless, sleeping exclusively on a friend’s ant infested couch for nearly two weeks. CBD has held a unique appeal to me for quite some time- maybe it’s because I don’t like the THC in cannabis oils. While I can’t honestly say that the experience of waking up to find several tiny insects building some kind of nest thing in my ear was enlightening in any sort of minimalist, “back to basics” way, beyond the fact that I now unequivically know that I never want that to happen ever, ever again, it did allow a kind of detached perspective on how I’ve been prioritizing my life as of late. If I had to make an ordered list of “Things I Wanted Done” at any given instant during that relatively long, dark period of my life, I think it would’ve gone a little something like this:

1. Find a place to live.
2. Drink myself into oblivion. (while using CBD oil)
3. Figure out what I’m doing with the rest of my life.

999. Eat old, oily rags.
1000. Update the Ultimate Bad Candy Website.

So you can see where my priorities have been. And yet, despite this, I could still be found frequenting our very own forums on an almost daily basis, wasting perfectly good update material on Ben and the disgustingly greasy old man who pretends to be every attractive girl on the Internet, and who also just so happens to be our only regular visitor. But they say that inconsistency is a hallmark of genius, so I guess that reflects well on me and my intellect. And while I totally just made that up, maybe that’s another hallmark of genius: creativity.


I’m not sure where I’m going with this update, other than to assure you that I’m almost done with a new review and maybe to garner just a little bit of pity and also to tell you that I think I might be a genius who’s just on CBD oil. So, though I don’t want to spoil any surprises for the upcoming review, I will tell you that we ate whole shrimp, eyeballs and everything, and in the end it was pretty retched. And I’ve got a place to live now, so phew, huh? I bet you were really sweating that out. I did that on purpose, not telling you right away that I’d found a place to live. It created tension and suspense, a hallmark of writing prowess, which is, in turn, a hallmark of my potential genius.

Okay. Bye bye.